Life’s A Game. Wanna Play?

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Most of us float along, unaware of our surroundings. Come on, we’re young and we’re reckless – we have the world at our feet. But we have to get out there. Make ourselves known to the world. Grab your passport, leave your comfort zone, and leave your home. Plan nothing. We need excitement, need that spark to keep us going. Create a bucketlist. Name it, if you must.

Take that trip to Beirut. Scuba dive in the world famous Great Barrier Reef. Ask that crush out. Create a pornographic film. Hitch a ride on top of that crowded train in Mumbai. Build a snowman in Whistler. Cliff dive in Kauai. Smuggle some chewing gum into Singapore. Anything you desire. Anything you want to accomplish.

Why, you ask? Why not! We are so accustomed to never questioning our path in life. We just follow our personal yellow brick road. Dream, people. Live a little. We have all felt ‘stuck’ at some point. Well, stop allowing yourself to stagnate. Challenge yourself. It may not work out, but it will be an experience never forgotten. Living doesn’t have to be boring. It doesn’t stop at having cash, credit cards, cars, condos and a career. Hell, you don’t really need all of that. You just need a little adventure. Be risky, or risqué.

Personally, I’ve run from anything uncomfortable for a long time. It took me as long to realise that if I don’t change my life, it never will. I’ve always been the type of person that will not do anything alone outside of home unless absolutely necessary. Movies, concerts, eating out, going to the gym – just some of the things that I could have easily done alone, but never had the courage to. I was afraid that other people might judge me. Moreover, I was afraid that I would realise how alone I truly feel inside. Whenever I go out, I would see couples holding hands, groups of friends laughing, families bonding. Maybe it’s because I’m single but I’ve also realized that being single can be freeing. Insert cliché of not having to answer to anybody or being able to do anything you want anytime you want here. Most importantly, I’ve realized that I have missed out on SO MUCH just waiting on other people to accommodate to my own needs.

I am in my mid 20’s now and it has taken me a little over a decade to be comfortable with myself, within myself. For more times than I care to admit, I have been cooped up in my room hating and enjoying my own company. Watching Netflix, listening to music, writing random thoughts on pieces of paper, talking to myself. Yes, I talk to myself (but not out loud). I have made peace with my inner demons, I’ve had conversations with them, negotiating with them, telling them to leave me be. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still angry all the time, but I have to say that it has gotten less intense in this body. I’m learning to let shit go, forgiving people for their shortcomings and their rudeness even when they don’t deserve it, and living another cliché – not giving a damn. Try it. When you care less about other people pissing you off, you get less pissed off (duh!).

I’m preparing to go on a road trip alone next month. I am looking forward to long drives and singing along to playlists I’ve made on Spotify, and getting lost. I would have never considered driving so far by myself if I haven’t gotten to this stage of being comfortable with myself. I’ve travelled to places alone, but always had someone on the other end waiting for me. I would also make friends with anyone at the airport. I never had trouble making friends because to be quite honest, I can be very social if I wanted to – I just never cared for it. But this road trip will be the experience of a lifetime. It will prepare me for my future endeavors such as backpacking across South America and Europe. Yes, that whole wanderlust crap everyone’s on about. So hey, it’s time for me to get out there and practice what I preach.

In summary, Paramore will tell you how I’m feeling about my life right now (or at least for a little while).