10 years ago, someone asked me why I don’t swing my arms when I walk. I’ve been swinging my arms since, ‘naturally’. Not a single day has gone by, or goes by, where it isn’t a conscious effort on my part.
Yesterday, a 9 year old asked me why people have to swing their arms when they walk.
The majority, the generic and the one dimensional people will always try to bend and shape you to their likeness. You could conform. You could try to fit in and even, at some point, successfully convince yourself that you’re ‘one of them’ – but you’ll never be ‘one of them’. You never will. Why you toss and turn in bed some nights for no apparent reason. Why you walk among other people always conscious of that invisible mask you wear.
They’ll kick you when you’re down and throw words that tear down your faith but stay strong. The ones that laugh and mock you, they’re all the same. They do what they can to try to be different but they’ll never be. Not like you. It is as much a blessing as it is an affliction. More often than not, people don’t choose to be different and the one thing that makes you like the rest of the pack is that unfaltering hunger to be ‘unique’.
You are you, and nobody can change that. You are who you are in your reality, not in the minds of others. Their perspective of you can shape the reality of the world around you and in their circles but they will never be able to change you. The only question is, can you accept yourself the way you are? Or are you like them, on the outside, looking in, wishing for something you were never meant to have?
You’re likely to be misunderstood for a long time. Maybe even for your entire life, but don’t lose focus. You were meant for greater things. Things that they simply do not have the capacity to understand no matter how intelligent they are, or how intelligent they think they are. It is simply not a question of intelligence or wit. It is a certain capacity that only we posses. That feeling you feel in your chest when you see someone like yourself. Someone hiding in plain sight, so well, that if not for that one second that he or she falters, you’d never have guessed. It is this quality that has you switching personalities when you’re with different people. You’ve learned over the years how to adapt to different prototypes of these one dimensional beings. You also know that there is a part of you that no one has ever seen, or maybe ever will see.
Your chest of secrets, buried deep within your mind. The box of thoughts that you know, for sure, that they wouldn’t be able to understand. They will likely call you out and ostracize you. We all know that, and that is why that box, we keep buried.
As the years grow, the hunger and the fire inside you burn stronger. The craving and desire drives you mad sometimes, like an itch on your back you cannot reach no matter how you try to stretch your arms around it. The conforming and the routine have only gotten you so far. You need something more, and you’re slowly realizing it.