No, i’m not suicidal. Neither is this a rant.It’s just that I can’t stop myself from thinking.thinking.thinking.reflecting.thinking and thinking, such that perhaps its turning into an obsessive cycle for the past 48 hours and week.
Recently, I came across this article on the Thought Catalog on yes,relationships. It’s not a sob story, neither is it a 100- rule of thumb “Dos or Don’ts” on relationship advice; ”oh trust and communication is key, how to make your boyfriend love you more, how to make him stay…and the list goes on…”
What particularly struck me in the article was this:
“The saddest place to be sometimes is in the void between being crazy about someone and being compatible with them. It’s such a bittersweet engagement, to be tied up between the monumental feelings of tenderness and desire towards another person, but to have none of the sticky stuff required to glue the two of you together.”
Yes, we all know that Love and Attraction is a gooey feeling which leaves your heart warm and palpitating, whereby all of a sudden your world lights up and everything instantaneously becomes more beautiful. However, whoever said that “love overcomes all obstacles” and the key to a happy relationship is “acceptance and compromise” is bullshit. Sure enough you can try and compromise and bear with the differences that you guys have for now because “oh I love him/her” but how long can you compromise? Once, twice, thrice, forever? Can you suck it up and deal with this difference for “eternity” and in the long-run will you be truly happy?
Feelings can come by really fast, but can go as quickly as the wind as well. But the thing is, feelings alone are not enough to sustain a relationship. Two people can be attracted to one another and have strong feelings for one another but that alone is not enough to keep a relationship going. The problem arises when you get to know one another better and realised how different you guys actually are, in terms of character, habits, values, perspectives and priorities in life (even the way you deal with circumstances.) Some people can be so broken and inherently fucked up the way they are with their warped mindsets. Sure enough, you can try to be understanding and compromise because you are madly in love with the person, but can you in the entire relationship see yourself doing this forever, literally? Perhaps, deep down inside, you too know that it.just.will.not.work.out.
Love is not easy, it is never easy and it does not come by easy. It is a magical force which combines and captures the hearts and souls of two people. Just like the saying goes, it takes two hands to clap, it is rare to find someone whom you have a feeling for and the feelings are similarly reciprocated in return. Some lone rangers might end up in a one-way street, either from rejecting those that fancy them or facing rejection. However, what is amazing is when you find an other half that is truly suitable for you, like how the right key fits perfectly into the lock, instead of trying to force a square jigsaw puzzle into a circled space. Of course, people do not automatically fit into one another’s lives. It takes time to assimilate (and probably lots of understanding and tolerance). Speaking of which, how often are the times you would find someone of the exact same temperature as you? (by temperature i mean figuratively and literally) If you did, i’m happy for you, do not let him or her go…
Love is such a formidable force, so strong and magnetic that it keeps you coming back, even when you know it may be toxic. Letting go is difficult… or accepting the fact that he/she is just simply not healthy for you is difficult. But by holding on to something so destructive would only in turn generate more hurt and even more hurt, like rubbing and cutting the same spot with a plastic knife.
It’s time to move on and find true happiness, someone who can really make you happy and of the same degree celsius. I’m sure there will be someone out there for everyone, for you. xx