I’m in pain.

The alarm sounds. It is time to get up. A new day has begun. I wriggle my toes, a little something I learned years ago, something to help wake the body up before I start my day.

The first step is the hardest, but it does not end there. My joints feel like broken glass rubbing against concrete and my head is heavy like a pile of bricks. I pull myself up, very reluctantly and stumble into the bathroom. The throbbing begins and does not stop.
I am exhausted. The treatments are slowly draining every bit of energy out of me. I need sleep. Natural sleep. Chemically induced sleep is not sleep. It is as if I can feel the weight of the world on my shoulders albeit not in a noble sense. It pushes down on me and I feel like it is almost time for me to crumble under the pressure.

Sleep, I miss you. I need you.


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