I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

Before I start, forgive me for the bad paint job. Now, let’s begin.

Image

Sigh, where do I go with this? I’ve seen nonsense like this so many times from so many people it sometimes feel that scarily enough, I’m accustomed to it and that it’s a fact of life. Well, it shouldn’t be.

Ok, let’s start from the bottom shall we? I’m sure we’re all only too familiar with the facebook groups that have teen, youth, swag, yolo and all those hyperbole bullshit as their title. Most noted of course for their ridiculously incorporated quotes (Which I admit, do make some sense on a pseudo-superficial level) but what the fuck are with the instagram-like hipster photos which aren’t linked to the fucking quotes? An example:Image

What we see in this picture minus the quote are 2 idiots with hipster caps, acting as if they’re camera shy and quite possibly inciting sympathy from the audience about their terrible little lives by covering their crotch and trying to make it all “old school” by making the photo look like it was taken in the 1970s with a fucking microwave. Yes I get the quote, Yes I somehow get the picture by intentionally lowering my IQ by say a third, but no I do not see a direct link between the seizure inducing quote and the hipster photograph. How do these imbeciles even come up with this crap, and yes they have followers, between 6 – 7 figures worth. Are there this many idiots who truly believe this? Sucked into a world of pseudo intellectualism with grade B quotes and generally useless pictures that have numerous wagons worth of fanboys and girls licking their teeny weeny boots. And don’t let me get started on the worst of its kind. “Like” if you love your mum. “Like if you think she’s beautiful”. “Like if you are a fucking dumb arse who no inkling of a logical framework” and of course as pictured, “1 like = Kick for this guy”. Yes. Every like on Facebook will increase your love for your family members because if you did not then god forbid you must hate them. Every like will logically ensure that the guy as pictured will get a good hard kick in the arse, because if you did not it simply means you are misogynistic and will become a woman abuser then other people will like a fucking picture so YOU can get your arse kicked you sick, sick fellow. The repercussions are harsh, and it will make you sad. I know it’s making me fucking sad right now.

On to the other point, which is the top portion of the first picture. Let’s break it down shall we?

“Love a person need to love a rite want.”

Want? Want what? You want to love a rite (Religious ceremony) to show a person that you love her or him? You want English lessons? Good call on the second one mate but allow me to correct you; you NEED English lessons. So, “Love a person need to love a rite need.” Now, doesn’t that sound better?

“Dun go and love a wrong want.”

Hmm. Yes yes. Don’t love a wrong want. Don’t ‘want’ drugs kids. Don’t ‘want’ smoke. Loving the wrong wants are very bad kids. There must be wisdom in this nincompoops words. We must take heed! Certainly the material and essence of a leader, and coincidentally similar to half the MPs in parliament. I sense a pattern here.

“If u love a wrong want! They will hurt u very much!”

Day 38: I showered my ‘want’ for cigarettes with love, but just yesterday after le sexy time they walked out leaving me bare and naked, while there was still tobacco in my poom pooms. For hours my ‘want’ did not return, and when they did they unleashed a torrent of stick slaps with their slender bodies onto my ding dongs. My bruises and scars, they will never heal. Oh, I should have listened to the wise one when he said that my wants will hurt me very much, for they are now. Boo hoo. I shall now take a picture of me half naked with instagram, slap a cheap quote on it and allow the world to revel in my pain and to shower me with pity and kind words like they really give a shit. That’s what Facebook is for right, right?

Yes, right… I’ve really had enough. You get the gist of what I’m talking about, and if you don’t get someone who does. There still might be hope for you yet.

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