Chaos, old friend.

In the world of people obsessed with perfection, I thread lightly,
as best I can, in the slums.
My disdain does not show, I hope.

This conspiracy is vile & unfortunate. I am but one man,
taking shelter in the darkness
of whatever remains of hope.

I feel the warm fingers of depression
on the back of my neck
as she runs
her fingers through my messy hair.

Whispering secrets that make me wince, I brush her off ,
but only for a while.
She comes back
eventually, she always does.

You can’t pull them all out of the light, she tells me. I try
to hide my frown without any success.

But I try, I say, but I can try.

She smiles and places her hand on my lap as she looks deep into my eyes,
as if trying to tell me something. I feel tears rolling down my cheeks,
but I do not understand.

I pray for the shadows to take me away, to keep me
under the darkness till it’s safe, if ever, but my cries are unheard.
She embraces me with both hands and I fall to my knees, weak and in need.

I feel my body tremble helplessly as I succumb to her mystical touch.
My mind scrambles for comfort, tearing apart boxes of memories,
desperately searching for a hint of darkness. Just one;
one more would make things right, if only I could find just that one more..memory.

Her fingers wrap around my neck, softly at first,
before the choking starts. Reality strikes
and I realize that this is it. The moment. The finality of death staring at me
from a distance, I try to close my eyes but the tears force them open.

I stop struggling as I look into her eyes and see
a glimmer of light. Fear perforates my skin and tears at my heart as I feel
the dreams, memories and hopes of ever returning to the darkness
slowly leaving me. I try to hold on
but they start running.

I fall to the ground ;the world around me
growing brighter with each passing moment.

Staring at the sky, I feel a half-smile form as I grasp the irony of it all.
I hear the voices calling, telling me that the light will give me new life,
make things better and carry me to a different place. I fight these thoughts
as my strength depletes and my willpower reserves run dry.

The world fades
to light.


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